Single Moms Need Self-Care

Self Care and the Single Mom

Repeat after me: Self care. is. not. optional. It's not a luxury. It's a requirement. What does this mean for me? To put it simply, it's the nourishment of mind, body , and spirit. Many times people's thoughts go to spa days or tending to their physical appearance in some way.

Of course being pampered is gratifying and nobody wants to be a 'frumpy mom' but, don't skimp on the TLC the mind and spirit need.

  • It's not selfish. We can't pour from an empty vessel and our kids deserve the best versions of us. Rid yourself of any guilt or the burden of other people's judgement. Society tends to shame moms(especially single moms) for wanting time away from  their children and desiring a life of their own. Recently on a reality show {so I'm told*side eye* } an in-law called a woman a 'bad mom' because she has a demanding career and 'all kinds of babysitters'. Although this person probably just wanted more camera time, this faulty logic is common.  

I have committed to at least one solo trip per year. Before my last trip, some people had to get their jaws off the floor after being told it was I was going alone. Them: What are you and Jay going to do in Florida? Me: Jay's not going. Them: Blank stares and crickets. Some tried to dig a little deeper to find out if I was meeting a man there. I was not. It was me, a beach chair, the ocean, and vitamin D. I can't begin to describe how cleansing it was.

  • Make the time. Please stop saying you don't have time to do X/Y/Z and blaming your children. Make time for reading, learning new things, meditation or journaling. Do whatever it takes to get your mind quiet and have thoughts that are about you, your plans, and how you will implement them. Do a few minutes at a time to start. Search "Five minute face" Youtube tutorials to learn quick makeup tips or quick cute hairstyles. Install a meditation app on your phone or the Five Minute Journal app. I really love the Oprah and Deepak app. They do 21 day meditations with journal prompts. Select 1 book to read a month that interests you and commit to a certain number of pages per day. Podcasts are great too. 
  • Get social: Connect with others who have similar interests on or offline. There are Facebook and Meetup.com groups for everything. If your child has a disability make sure you are in a few activities that are not centered around it. I know how important it is to have contact with others who 'get' you but, it's also easy to end up with a one dimensional social circle. Find a travel, sewing, craft, tech group or search a hashtag to start engaging with peers. 

What is your favorite way to spend time with yourself? Comment below or let me know via Twitter @resilientmomfls.

 

            Love n Light,

               Erica 

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