#HurtBae and Healing On Our Own

Around Valentine's day last year there was a video that went viral. It was part of a web series. It entailed a couple hashing out the ugly details of their breakup. I guess the woman was seeking closure. Twitter then gave her the moniker "Hurtbae" and people tagged their comments #Hurtbae.

She sat in front of her horrible ex and asked all of THOSE questions? How many women did you cheat with? What did you do with them? Yuck. They even rehashed the night she actually walked into the house and found him in bed with another woman. On that night, he asked her to leave. This guy sad there looking proud of all the things he had done she wasted more tears and even called herself 'stupid'.


She didn't gain one thing from that conversation (except for a little. little inter-web fame). In the words of the guy who wrote the book 'He's Just Not That Into You' a while back: Sometimes closure is overrated. I would also add that an apology most times is overrated too.


Be honest if your relative or ex (anything) apologized for wronging you, are you really going to feel any better? How many times have we seen people argue about the wording of an apology then, practically stop speaking again because of said botched apology? Madness.


Sometimes you have to get closure on your own. Hurtbae's missteps should be a lesson to us. Romantic relationship or otherwise we will experience hurt.  Do yourself a favor and don't wait for apologies to begin healing. It's likely it won't feel half as gratifying as you think. You don't need it. Do what's necessary for yourself and your growth.


Remember: If you live by the approval (and/or apologies) of others you will die by their rejection.


Since this post is being published on Valentine's Day, take a look at this post by Mastin Kipp. He discusses the origins of Valentine's Day and resisting measuring your self-worth by your relationship status.


Love and Light,